Thoughts on Grandma / Mother to me

What a wonderful woman! I would love to have her character traits. She has always had the most lovely alto singing voice. She and my Father sang in the Tabernacle Choir for about 15 years. In fact, that is how she met my father. She was sitting behind him in church right after he got home from his mission and when he heard her beautiful voice he was hooked.

She worked hard (after her kids were all in school) at various jobs to support our family. I remember her coming home from her job as a waitress (on her feet all day) and lying on the couch in the living room with her feet up to try to get them to stop hurting. She had to walk a mile to and from work besides. She never complained. She wanted us to have the finer things in life and she wanted to decorate her living room as well. She finally got it all done with a beautiful Forrest green carpet. Turquoise and green floral couch with white silk drapes and sheers. The top of the drapes had beautiful swags that overlapped each other by about 5 inches. She bought classy end and coffee tables that lasted her close to 20 years. Her home was always clean and well kept. That room was her pride and joy.

She and Dad would go outside and do all the yard work every Wednesday evening. Their yard was the best looking yard in the block. Dad had a real good eye for landscaping and their work together after a hard days work was a real effort. Mom was a real trooper to go out and help him with her feet hurting so bad.

Mom worked the rest of her adult years until she retired at 62 (I think). Another place she worked was at a department store called Auerbach's which was like Macey's or Dillards's of today. She got several thing for my wedding on great sales. On thing she got me that I thought was especially beautiful was a cream colored tablecloth that had gorgeous embroidery with cut work in it and on the napkins. 6 years ago she gave me one of her tablecloths that was white on white sheer with matching napkins. It too was very special to me. I use it for Sunday dinners and Holidays. Otherwise I keep it put away to keep it nice.

I remember one day when I was a Junior in High School when I didn't make Pep Club she offered to take me for a ride, just her and me alone to try to assuage my sorrow. We drove all over the school boundaries to see who had made it. (you could tell because they toilet papered their houses. I was especially sorry to see that my best friend had been chosen but not me. Also the girl who was my rival for the boyfriend I foolishly gave up (and then realized what a mistake I had made) She made it as well. Mother was so considerate that way.

My mother willingly served two missions after her retirement. One was to the Hmong people that had come from Vietnam and could speak no English. She and Dad were responsible for seeing that they had all the beds and furniture they needed and then to just befriend them. That was a hard mission as they never could understand the language.

The second mission was served in the Northwestern states, mainly in the Seattle area where she got fleas that bit her and not my Dad. She suffered for months and months. Nothing she did would get rid on them and she was constantly being bitten all over her body. The doctor said she was allergic to them and there was nothing that she could do but leave that part of the country. Even after she got back to SLC she still had flees because they had gotten in the boxes she had packed to bring their stuff home in. It took several fumigation's of their apartment to finally get rid of them.

When her father was dying he was unable to take care of himself so Mother willingly took him into her home to give him the 24 hour nursing care he would need until he died. She was absolutely selfless in her effort to do the right thing by him. This she was willing to do even though she was in her late sixties and not in such good health herself. Fortunately for her, he died the day she finally got him into her apartment so she never did have to take care of him .
but I was impressed that she would have done if needed. What a wonderful woman

And now for the last three years of her life she has lived helpless in the care center being dependant on the nurses for her every need. It was a very difficult time for the first 6 months or so but she rarely cried or complained and finally adjusted and accepted her situation totally without complaint since then.

And now as she lay dying she INSISTS that we go home at night while she is sleeping rather than keeping a vigil through the night. We have told the care center that they are to call us immediately if there is any change in her status during the night but most of us live a half and hour away and wouldn't be able to get there very fast if she needed us. Fortunately, Eileen lives only a mile away and could be there in 5 minuets time.

The Hospice nurses told us today that she could live up to tow week without food and water and that the end can be very difficult. They had standing doctor's orders that she can be given morphine and atavan at any time so it will make her passing easier. It is going to be difficult to keep a vigil with just the four children so if any of you could volunteer to help out for three hour stretches occasionally we would appreciate it immensely.

{{{cyber hugs}}} to all,

Mither