Still fighting sleepiness in the mornings, but to my complete surprise, Joe said I got up last night (after taking my ambien and going to bed) and talked to Michelle and Fleicia (incoherently they said - they just laughed off my crazy speech) until very late. He said I had been doing this several nights, not just last night. I have no memory of it at all. That's what ambien will do to you. I wish I could get off of it.
NO WONDER I've had such a HARD time staying awake during the day. I found myself nodding off in my ERC (Employment Resources Center - my Church service mission) Conference yesterday and then jerking awake over and over. How embarrassing!
I've asked Joe to gently suggest to me that I might want to go back to bed because I have to get up at 5:00 in the morning. Apparently, I get feisty and unreasonable when I am in that state. I'm hoping that my alter ego will listen to him and go back to bed. I still plan on getting up at 5:00 a.m.
The small miracle is that even though I got up so early (and then went back to sleep on the couch at 6:30 until 7:30 when I was wakened by a phone call) I still got my art room cleaned up so that I can at least turn around. The boxes of stuff that got put in there "temporarily" are finally gone! Hallelujah!
Now I have no excuse not to paint. Hope there is another small (BIG) miracle that will cause me to actually do it, now.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Hottest Date Night Ever!
Joe happened to be listening to the radio a couple of weeks ago and heard that the Utah Symphony was doing what they called Cirque de la Symphonie. Having seen the Cirque de la Soliel "O" in Las Vegas in May which was phenomenal, he asked me if I wanted to go. I thought he had read my 100 goals list and knew that one of my goals was to cultivate an appreciation for classical music, so that was why he asked. I didn't find out until last night that he had no idea that I had set that goal.
Strange coincidence.
In Brother Wright's class at Ed. Week he said that as long as we asked the Lord what goals to set and wrote down any thing that came to mind we would find that opportunities would happen and people would be brought into our life that would help us reach our goals. He also read a quote by Larry H Miller who said "How many coincidences does it take to realize that it's not a coincidence?"
The Symphony was incredible. The music was beautiful. It was interesting because they played music from Harry Potter and Star Wars along with the classical pieces. And then to see the extraordinary acts that were set to the music was much more than I ever expected. To tell the truth I hesitated to even go because I hadn't yet "developed" the taste for classical music. It was just a goal that I had set and was working towards by changing my radio station to Classical 89 in the car and listening to it on my Ipod. I thought that Joe wanted to go, (which was weird since we haven't gone to the symphony, ever, in our whole married life) so I said yes.
What a night! First we decided to drive up to 90th South and catch Trax and ride in to the city which was, in itself, fun because I had never done it. Then, when we got there, we had time to get a bite to eat. We went to the hotel restaurant that was right across the street from Symphony Hall, which was very convenient. We finished eating just in time to get to our seats without being late. And last to hear and see such amazing things, (the acts were just incredible, that's all I can say!) made the whole night more fun than I have had on a date, ever!!!
The really down side was that it was Emilee's birthday and she was going to invite us over to dinner.
The other down side was that we didn't get home until late and I didn't get to bed until after midnight. That made it so I slept right through my alarm and missed getting up at 5:00 a.m. Joe had been up at 5:00 himself and when he came back to bed a little later and heard my alarm going off (music from my Ipod, not very loud, but loud enough that I should have woken up) he thought if I was that tired he would just let me sleep. So I didn't wake up until 8:30 and even then I couldn't get really awake so I slept until 11:00.
So much for preaching "early to bed and early to rise." But tomorrow is another day so they say. (And no, I don't know who "they" is.)
Well, I need to get to bed now or I might sleep through my alarm, again.
Night, all.
Strange coincidence.
In Brother Wright's class at Ed. Week he said that as long as we asked the Lord what goals to set and wrote down any thing that came to mind we would find that opportunities would happen and people would be brought into our life that would help us reach our goals. He also read a quote by Larry H Miller who said "How many coincidences does it take to realize that it's not a coincidence?"
The Symphony was incredible. The music was beautiful. It was interesting because they played music from Harry Potter and Star Wars along with the classical pieces. And then to see the extraordinary acts that were set to the music was much more than I ever expected. To tell the truth I hesitated to even go because I hadn't yet "developed" the taste for classical music. It was just a goal that I had set and was working towards by changing my radio station to Classical 89 in the car and listening to it on my Ipod. I thought that Joe wanted to go, (which was weird since we haven't gone to the symphony, ever, in our whole married life) so I said yes.
What a night! First we decided to drive up to 90th South and catch Trax and ride in to the city which was, in itself, fun because I had never done it. Then, when we got there, we had time to get a bite to eat. We went to the hotel restaurant that was right across the street from Symphony Hall, which was very convenient. We finished eating just in time to get to our seats without being late. And last to hear and see such amazing things, (the acts were just incredible, that's all I can say!) made the whole night more fun than I have had on a date, ever!!!
The really down side was that it was Emilee's birthday and she was going to invite us over to dinner.
The other down side was that we didn't get home until late and I didn't get to bed until after midnight. That made it so I slept right through my alarm and missed getting up at 5:00 a.m. Joe had been up at 5:00 himself and when he came back to bed a little later and heard my alarm going off (music from my Ipod, not very loud, but loud enough that I should have woken up) he thought if I was that tired he would just let me sleep. So I didn't wake up until 8:30 and even then I couldn't get really awake so I slept until 11:00.
So much for preaching "early to bed and early to rise." But tomorrow is another day so they say. (And no, I don't know who "they" is.)
Well, I need to get to bed now or I might sleep through my alarm, again.
Night, all.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Why should I get up EARLY in the morning?
Just so you all know, this post is an answer to a question posed by Dave in the comments to my Yawnnnnnn! post about why I made it a goal to get up at 5:00 a.m. He asked what value I got out of getting up so early that could not be gotten by staying up equally late (that's basically the idea, I think)
I know this is a LONG post but you all might get something out of it (not just Dave) if you take the trouble to read it. By the way, I am using this blog as a journal, now, so some of the posts might seem weird, too spiritual or too personal. All I can say is "sorry, that's just me coming out on paper" (or should I say, on computer :)
There's a whole chapter on the subject of getting up early in Randal A Wright's book "Achieving Your Life Mission." His class at Education Week was so good I went to three sessions of it for the last three days. It was his class that inspired me to get up early and to write my "100 goals list." (goals I would like to accomplish in the next ten years of my life. That's a whole other post.)
He quotes several of the General Authority's writings that I think are especially good. I'll let them speak for themselves:
Elder Marion G. Romney asked Elder Harold B. Lee what he needed to do to be a successful General Authority. Elder Lee spoke about the necessity of receiving personal revelation in order to be effective and said: "If you are to be successful... you will need to be inspired. You will need to receive revelation. I will give you one piece of advice: Go to bed early and get up early. If you do, your body and mind will become rested and then in the quiet of those early morning hours, you will receive more flashes of inspiration and insight than at any other time of the day."
President Romney said: "From that day on, I put that counsel into practice, and I know it works."
President Boyd K Packer said, "When I'm under pressure, you won't find me burning the midnight oil. I'd much rather be in bed early and getting up in the wee hours of the morning, when I can be close to Him who guides this work." Elder Christensen added his testimony by saying, "Some are habituated to going to bed late and sleeping much longer than your system really needs and thus missing out on some of the personal inspiration you could be receiving."
In our fast-paced world filled with so many activities, going to bed early takes every bit as much willpower as getting up early. Perhaps that is why so few people actually do it. President Joseph F. Smith, writing to one of his missionary sons said, "The Lord said, 'Retire to bed early,' and this is wise advice, but we do not heed it. Now let me say, Let us go to bed early, that we may rise early and be refreshed. So far as we can. It is God's plan. He tells us to do it and we should obey."
Some may think that they are biologically programmed to be a morning person or a night person. But Elder Christensen addressed this when he said, "Nowhere do the scriptures say, 'Thou shalt sleep eight hours.' Nor do the say, 'Retire early unless you happen to be a night person."
Brother Wright writes: After hearing a General Authority mention during a stake conference that he got up very early every morning, I asked how many of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve did the same. His eyes locked on mine and he exclaimed, "They all do!"
Also D&C 88:124 says, "... cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated."
Elder Russell M. Nelson also tied [getting up early] to our mental well being when he said, "Those who feel defeated and downtrodden, look to the early hours of the day for your rescue."
To all that, let me share my personal experience. When I was 27 years old I had six children and no time when I could do a serious study of the scriptures without interruption. So I decided to get up at 5:00 a.m. when I could be alone and uninterrupted. I did this for about nine months. I chose to study the Book of Mormon so I got a study guide from BYU's Book of Mormon course. I found, to my absolute delight, that I was more spiritually, mentally and emotionally uplifted than at any other time in my life. And I'm 61 years old so that's saying a lot. I am convinced that getting up early is really important. I don't know why I stopped getting up early except that I finished the Book of Mormon and didn't continue to study any of the other standard works.
(Oh Oh, here I go off on a tangent about scriptures, sorry folks, that's what I said before about getting the real me.)
As I studied, I found that I came to LOVE the Book of Mormon. I didn't want to be without my scriptures. I loved highlighting the scriptures that were impressive to me, marking them up, writing in the margins and cross referencing them. Those scriptures wore out, so I bought a new set and did the same marking, etc. This time I even got a copy of the paperback B of M and cut the pictures out and pasted them in the appropriate places of my scriptures. I bought a packet of B of M comments by the Brethren which were like sticky note pads only a little smaller and put them in the appropriate pages as well. Then I bought a set of study guides that could be pasted in at certain places where they commented on what was said in the text. I still have those scriptures but they are getting so fragile that I don't dare use them for studying any more.
I now have a large set of scriptures that I am marking all over again, but not referring to my old scriptures this time. It's refreshing to start over again. I have a whole different outlook on life, now, and I am impressed by different things in the scriptures than I was with my old set. It's like seeing with new eyes. I would suggest that you buy a new set of scriptures every 10 years and start marking them again. It would be like a new volume for each decade of your life. I guarantee that you'll mark them differently each decade according to your life experiences.
Well, that's it. Hope it was worth reading, Dave, because it's taken me four hours to compose this post. It's also 9:03 p.m. and Joe and I still have to have our scripture study together.
BTW the Dave that I'm writing to in this post is not my son David, he is just someone who started commenting on my post one day. All I know about him is that he is the loving father of three adorable sons (one of them only about 2 weeks old), he has a funny sense of humour and he likes classical music as well as country.
Cheers, everyone!
I know this is a LONG post but you all might get something out of it (not just Dave) if you take the trouble to read it. By the way, I am using this blog as a journal, now, so some of the posts might seem weird, too spiritual or too personal. All I can say is "sorry, that's just me coming out on paper" (or should I say, on computer :)
There's a whole chapter on the subject of getting up early in Randal A Wright's book "Achieving Your Life Mission." His class at Education Week was so good I went to three sessions of it for the last three days. It was his class that inspired me to get up early and to write my "100 goals list." (goals I would like to accomplish in the next ten years of my life. That's a whole other post.)
He quotes several of the General Authority's writings that I think are especially good. I'll let them speak for themselves:
Elder Marion G. Romney asked Elder Harold B. Lee what he needed to do to be a successful General Authority. Elder Lee spoke about the necessity of receiving personal revelation in order to be effective and said: "If you are to be successful... you will need to be inspired. You will need to receive revelation. I will give you one piece of advice: Go to bed early and get up early. If you do, your body and mind will become rested and then in the quiet of those early morning hours, you will receive more flashes of inspiration and insight than at any other time of the day."
President Romney said: "From that day on, I put that counsel into practice, and I know it works."
President Boyd K Packer said, "When I'm under pressure, you won't find me burning the midnight oil. I'd much rather be in bed early and getting up in the wee hours of the morning, when I can be close to Him who guides this work." Elder Christensen added his testimony by saying, "Some are habituated to going to bed late and sleeping much longer than your system really needs and thus missing out on some of the personal inspiration you could be receiving."
In our fast-paced world filled with so many activities, going to bed early takes every bit as much willpower as getting up early. Perhaps that is why so few people actually do it. President Joseph F. Smith, writing to one of his missionary sons said, "The Lord said, 'Retire to bed early,' and this is wise advice, but we do not heed it. Now let me say, Let us go to bed early, that we may rise early and be refreshed. So far as we can. It is God's plan. He tells us to do it and we should obey."
Some may think that they are biologically programmed to be a morning person or a night person. But Elder Christensen addressed this when he said, "Nowhere do the scriptures say, 'Thou shalt sleep eight hours.' Nor do the say, 'Retire early unless you happen to be a night person."
Brother Wright writes: After hearing a General Authority mention during a stake conference that he got up very early every morning, I asked how many of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve did the same. His eyes locked on mine and he exclaimed, "They all do!"
Also D&C 88:124 says, "... cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated."
Elder Russell M. Nelson also tied [getting up early] to our mental well being when he said, "Those who feel defeated and downtrodden, look to the early hours of the day for your rescue."
To all that, let me share my personal experience. When I was 27 years old I had six children and no time when I could do a serious study of the scriptures without interruption. So I decided to get up at 5:00 a.m. when I could be alone and uninterrupted. I did this for about nine months. I chose to study the Book of Mormon so I got a study guide from BYU's Book of Mormon course. I found, to my absolute delight, that I was more spiritually, mentally and emotionally uplifted than at any other time in my life. And I'm 61 years old so that's saying a lot. I am convinced that getting up early is really important. I don't know why I stopped getting up early except that I finished the Book of Mormon and didn't continue to study any of the other standard works.
(Oh Oh, here I go off on a tangent about scriptures, sorry folks, that's what I said before about getting the real me.)
As I studied, I found that I came to LOVE the Book of Mormon. I didn't want to be without my scriptures. I loved highlighting the scriptures that were impressive to me, marking them up, writing in the margins and cross referencing them. Those scriptures wore out, so I bought a new set and did the same marking, etc. This time I even got a copy of the paperback B of M and cut the pictures out and pasted them in the appropriate places of my scriptures. I bought a packet of B of M comments by the Brethren which were like sticky note pads only a little smaller and put them in the appropriate pages as well. Then I bought a set of study guides that could be pasted in at certain places where they commented on what was said in the text. I still have those scriptures but they are getting so fragile that I don't dare use them for studying any more.
I now have a large set of scriptures that I am marking all over again, but not referring to my old scriptures this time. It's refreshing to start over again. I have a whole different outlook on life, now, and I am impressed by different things in the scriptures than I was with my old set. It's like seeing with new eyes. I would suggest that you buy a new set of scriptures every 10 years and start marking them again. It would be like a new volume for each decade of your life. I guarantee that you'll mark them differently each decade according to your life experiences.
Well, that's it. Hope it was worth reading, Dave, because it's taken me four hours to compose this post. It's also 9:03 p.m. and Joe and I still have to have our scripture study together.
BTW the Dave that I'm writing to in this post is not my son David, he is just someone who started commenting on my post one day. All I know about him is that he is the loving father of three adorable sons (one of them only about 2 weeks old), he has a funny sense of humour and he likes classical music as well as country.
Cheers, everyone!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Yawnnnnn
Well, I still haven't gotten through my "sleep withdrawals" yet. I almost fell asleep in a class on using wheat from food storage at our preparedness fair this morning and I was sitting on the second row in the classroom with no one in front of me. %) Hope the teacher didn't notice my head bobbing as I jerked awake.
I am really enjoying the time I spend in the mornings doing things like getting my journal caught up, my 12 generation pedigree chart filled in, studying the D&C in depth and having a meaningful prayer. I still don't dare meditate for fear of falling asleep again :)
I have read my 100 goals list almost every day and am amazed that I'm doing some of the things on my list without even trying. One of my goals was to not stress about accomplishing the things I have on my list. So far so good.
I need to remember to write my posts earlier in the evening. It's 9:17 and I turned into a pumpkin at 9:00.
Night all, sleep tight.
I am really enjoying the time I spend in the mornings doing things like getting my journal caught up, my 12 generation pedigree chart filled in, studying the D&C in depth and having a meaningful prayer. I still don't dare meditate for fear of falling asleep again :)
I have read my 100 goals list almost every day and am amazed that I'm doing some of the things on my list without even trying. One of my goals was to not stress about accomplishing the things I have on my list. So far so good.
I need to remember to write my posts earlier in the evening. It's 9:17 and I turned into a pumpkin at 9:00.
Night all, sleep tight.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Never Apologize....(part two)
Sorry about that last post. I had just barely started to write. I had only written two sentences when Joe came and asked me if I wanted to go shopping. He didn't have to ask twice. I minimized what I had written hoping to come back to it. For some reason the computer went ahead and posted just the title which is a terrible thing to say when you don't know the rest of the story.
So what you should never apologize for is giving Him the credit for the power behind your successes.
Two different friends of mine, who also have weight problems, have said that when they have lost 15 to 20 lbs. and tell it to someone, anyone for that matter, immediately they start to gain it back again. That has happened over and over again to all three of us.
Finally we got it! We were boasting in our own glory. Anytime we start to boast the natural result is that the spirit of the Lord is grieved and withdraws and we are left to ourselves, to our own strength, which in the case of a major difficulty or weakness (like trying to overcome an addiction to compulsive eating) is just about nil. Is nil, I should say, not "just about."
What we've learned from this experience is that it is Heavenly Father, not us, who gives us His power to overcome something that we've lost to power to do ourselves. Anytime an act or behaviour becomes an addiction willpower is not enough. It just doesn't function because we have abused the natural function (in this case eating)so badly that we have lost the ability to make good choices. We have lost the right to eat as a normal person would. So what it all boils down to is that we MUST draw on a power greater than ourselves. And if we take the credit for that power we suffer the condemnation of God, who is actually the power we are trying to claim. That was Lucifer's problem - he wanted to take God' glory for himself.
Anyway, what I've learned is that if I give the credit where credit is due, I can lose weight and keep it off. It's taken me 10 years in Overeaters Anonymous to learn that one fact. So now, I don't boast in my own strength. I try never to say I have lost x number of lbs without giving God the credit. Now I boast in my Heavenly Father's strength. I give Him the glory, which is where it belonged in the first place.
I never apologize for that.
So what you should never apologize for is giving Him the credit for the power behind your successes.
Two different friends of mine, who also have weight problems, have said that when they have lost 15 to 20 lbs. and tell it to someone, anyone for that matter, immediately they start to gain it back again. That has happened over and over again to all three of us.
Finally we got it! We were boasting in our own glory. Anytime we start to boast the natural result is that the spirit of the Lord is grieved and withdraws and we are left to ourselves, to our own strength, which in the case of a major difficulty or weakness (like trying to overcome an addiction to compulsive eating) is just about nil. Is nil, I should say, not "just about."
What we've learned from this experience is that it is Heavenly Father, not us, who gives us His power to overcome something that we've lost to power to do ourselves. Anytime an act or behaviour becomes an addiction willpower is not enough. It just doesn't function because we have abused the natural function (in this case eating)so badly that we have lost the ability to make good choices. We have lost the right to eat as a normal person would. So what it all boils down to is that we MUST draw on a power greater than ourselves. And if we take the credit for that power we suffer the condemnation of God, who is actually the power we are trying to claim. That was Lucifer's problem - he wanted to take God' glory for himself.
Anyway, what I've learned is that if I give the credit where credit is due, I can lose weight and keep it off. It's taken me 10 years in Overeaters Anonymous to learn that one fact. So now, I don't boast in my own strength. I try never to say I have lost x number of lbs without giving God the credit. Now I boast in my Heavenly Father's strength. I give Him the glory, which is where it belonged in the first place.
I never apologize for that.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
In my last post did I mention...?
I should have made it much more evident where the success is coming from in achieving my two goals. The power is from Heavenly Father, period. Without His help this would never have lasted, even this long. I need His help in getting up early especially. Now, to bed, or I won't be able to get up at 5:00 tomorrow.
Feeling Better... Life is Good
So, things are smoothing out in the family since I my last post. As my DIL said in her comment "we are family." Sometimes I forget that we are hoping to be "forever families." I am not crying in my heart anymore. I know in my original family we've had times that were upsetting but they also smoothed out over the years and we are stronger for it. "This too shall pass..."
Reporting back on the two goals I set after Education Week, they are progressing well. I have 68 things on my 100 goals list. After considering them, I realize I have to reach one goal, first, before I will have the strength to do some of the others. The goal that needs to come first is losing a significant amount of weight (before I tour Israel or go on a Church history tour) I have set that goal to take several years to attain. It is not something I want to do in a year or two and then gain it all back again. That has happened too many times. This time will be different in that the weight will come off slowly. Last year I lost 20 lbs. At that rate it will take me six years to lose enough to reach that particular goal.
When writing my goals I didn't factor in the fact that I am 61 years old and that 10 years for me will be different, now, than they would have been if I were only 35 or 40. Maybe some of the goals I've written will be filled on the "other side" if I don't live 10 more years. But then I've said for several years now that I want to die when I'm 72. Maybe the Lord will take me at my word and let me live that long. If so, then I will have one more year than necessary. 100 goals add up to a lot of things to do even in ten years time, but then what is 10 years to the Lord? Since He is on my side, all things are possible. Right? Right.
The goal of getting up at 5:00 a.m. is working better than I thought. When I made that goal I didn't specify what I would do in those early morning hours, just that I would get up at that time. I find that I am getting a lot more done in a day than I ever dreamed. Usually I study my scriptures,write in my journal and have a meaningful prayer but since I haven't specified how I will use that time it is a pleasurable choice rather than a "have to." I also enjoy the unhurried time getting dressed and ready for the day.
I do have days when I am tired so I rest or even sleep for a while in the late morning or afternoon but I have maintained my goal, so far, through the grace of God. His grace is the key element in my success.
I still have "sleep withdrawal," but there have been days, lately, when I've found I have more energy and am much more alert, and I go the whole day without being tired! It is especially interesting to get up early on a Saturday morning. I haven't gotten over the idea of "sleeping in" that morning, yet, but I expect it to go away as I persevere.
It is still strange getting up early. I've spent too much time writing this entry. I need to go to bed right now!
So.... Sleep tight, everyone.
Reporting back on the two goals I set after Education Week, they are progressing well. I have 68 things on my 100 goals list. After considering them, I realize I have to reach one goal, first, before I will have the strength to do some of the others. The goal that needs to come first is losing a significant amount of weight (before I tour Israel or go on a Church history tour) I have set that goal to take several years to attain. It is not something I want to do in a year or two and then gain it all back again. That has happened too many times. This time will be different in that the weight will come off slowly. Last year I lost 20 lbs. At that rate it will take me six years to lose enough to reach that particular goal.
When writing my goals I didn't factor in the fact that I am 61 years old and that 10 years for me will be different, now, than they would have been if I were only 35 or 40. Maybe some of the goals I've written will be filled on the "other side" if I don't live 10 more years. But then I've said for several years now that I want to die when I'm 72. Maybe the Lord will take me at my word and let me live that long. If so, then I will have one more year than necessary. 100 goals add up to a lot of things to do even in ten years time, but then what is 10 years to the Lord? Since He is on my side, all things are possible. Right? Right.
The goal of getting up at 5:00 a.m. is working better than I thought. When I made that goal I didn't specify what I would do in those early morning hours, just that I would get up at that time. I find that I am getting a lot more done in a day than I ever dreamed. Usually I study my scriptures,write in my journal and have a meaningful prayer but since I haven't specified how I will use that time it is a pleasurable choice rather than a "have to." I also enjoy the unhurried time getting dressed and ready for the day.
I do have days when I am tired so I rest or even sleep for a while in the late morning or afternoon but I have maintained my goal, so far, through the grace of God. His grace is the key element in my success.
I still have "sleep withdrawal," but there have been days, lately, when I've found I have more energy and am much more alert, and I go the whole day without being tired! It is especially interesting to get up early on a Saturday morning. I haven't gotten over the idea of "sleeping in" that morning, yet, but I expect it to go away as I persevere.
It is still strange getting up early. I've spent too much time writing this entry. I need to go to bed right now!
So.... Sleep tight, everyone.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Bad News - crying ....comments would be helpful
My Mother has been dead for 5 1/2 months, now and how I miss her tonight. I have had a bad situation arise between two of my grown children. I feel so helpless. I won't take sides in this and cause one of my loved ones to be alienated from the family.
How I miss my Mother at a time like this. Her gentle counsel right now would be so helpful. She would have said the right thing, exactly, and I would have known what to do.
Prayer is helpful, so far, to relieve the sad feelings a little, (crying in my heart :( .... ) but I haven't yet received an answer as to what I should do. I am going to call an old, good friend a little later today to see what she says and maybe my brothers, but it won't be the same as talking to my Mother would have been.
I just hope we can resolve this. I love both of these children so much. This is SO sad.
Heavenly Father, help me, please!
How I miss my Mother at a time like this. Her gentle counsel right now would be so helpful. She would have said the right thing, exactly, and I would have known what to do.
Prayer is helpful, so far, to relieve the sad feelings a little, (crying in my heart :( .... ) but I haven't yet received an answer as to what I should do. I am going to call an old, good friend a little later today to see what she says and maybe my brothers, but it won't be the same as talking to my Mother would have been.
I just hope we can resolve this. I love both of these children so much. This is SO sad.
Heavenly Father, help me, please!
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