My Sweet Mother is Dying

I can't sleep tonight even though I've only had two hours of sleep in the last 20hrs. Last night we got a call from my brother telling us that Mother had taken a turn for the worse and could we come.

When we got there she was jerking violently and incoherent.the staff told us that she didn't have very long to live, so we called family and told them to come and say there goodbyes. Well as the day wore on she rallied and the jerking slowed down and the incoherence left. We still expect she doesn't have many days left, but she could hold on for as much as three or four days. However, she has refused all medications and food as she wants to die. Janice, our daughter who is a nurse, says that under those circumstances it shouldn't be too long.

Mother strongly requested that we all go home and come back tomorrow if she's still alive. This is SO hard. We know it is her strongest wish but we hate to leave her alone to die. But she, as is so typical of her, is worried about putting us out. We wanted to stay with all our hearts but she insisted.

She is such a patient, considerate, loving person it is her natural desire for us to not stay so long and just wait for her to die. All our reassurances would not change her mind. She is bound and determined that we all go home and get our rest. So here I am at home and not able to sleep.

I hope for our sake's she doesn't die tonight but for her sake she does. She is SO tired of living and just wants to get it over with so she can go see her loved ones on the other side. We know she will be ecstatic if that happens so we can't feel sad for her. Just sad for us.

She was such a good mother. She always kept her home clean and picked up so it looked neat as a pin. She fixed good nutricious meals and always put a tablecloth on to eat meals. She wanted her children to grow up refined with good manners and we did. thee is so much more I could write about my mother but I am growing sleepy now so I'll end for now

I Love you Mother

Corilee