Melancholy December Day

Today is my Father's birthday. I always think of him in December. I wonder what he was like when he was a little boy. Seth reminds me of him. I don't know why. Maybe it's because he loved his children so much. Seth once said to me that all he ever wanted to be in life was a Father. My Father probably felt that way too. He was so affectionate. He always gave you a great big hug whenever he saw you. Friends, ward members, everyone! Well maybe not the lady in the grocery store checkout line, but close. ;) I loved him and I miss him at this time of year.

I remember going with him to deliver milk (one of three jobs he worked at the time). It was early in December and it was a cold winter morning. The sky was just starting to get light. He let me help him when it was just a bottle (quart) or so. I would run up to the house and find the box to put the milk into, put the bottle or two I had in and then run back to the truck. I ran because it was so cold but I could slip on the ice so I had to be careful. I remember how cold it was in the back of the truck. It was refrigerated to keep the milk cold but it was even colder outside. There was a heater in the front of the truck but it didn't do much good because we had to open the door to deliver the milk every 5 minutes or so and the cold air would blow in. (Did I say how cold it was? :)

The truck was very noisy because the bottles were glass and rattled in the metal shelves as we drove. I remember getting to have some chocolate milk which I loved. I think the paper cap on one of the bottles came off so we had to drink it (of course) It was a real treat because we couldn't afford chocolate milk at home. The chocolate milk only came in pint bottles so it was easy to drink out of the bottle, even for me. Wait, maybe they did come in quart bottles, too, but the bottle Dad gave me was only a pint so it was perfect for me to share with him.

I don't remember him saying anything but I remember the feeling of companionship I felt. I was about 10 or 11 years old. I really loved my Dad. I miss him. (Oh, I said that before ... oh well. It's the truth.) I didn't go with him very often, I don't think, but I do remember that one morning.

Actually I do remember one other time I went with him. It was on Christmas Eve. Mr. Stimpson, who owned the milk bottling and delivery business, allowed my Father to deliver the milk that night instead of having to deliver in the morning and miss seeing his children coming into the living room to see what Santa had left for them. I remember that it was in the early evening so the light of the day was waining and was much like delivering milk in the morning. Again there was that feeling of companionship and love. We were working fast to get home so we could enjoy Christmas Eve together with the family. There was something about the light of the morning and the light of the evening that makes it seem like a dream to me now.

Dad died in 1990 so it's been 19 years for Mother to wait to see him again. I can only imagine the love my affectionate and loving father must have radiated to her when he saw her come to the spirit world after her death. If the love radiating from Stephan when I saw him in my dream/vision was anything like the love Dad must have radiated when he saw Mother it must have been enough to consume her. I'm so happy for her that she has finally returned to heaven to be with him but it makes me a little melancholy this December.

I miss them both.