3:25 a.m. - Can't Sleep, Again

I have spent several hours in the dark, trying to go to sleep to no avail. At least, by getting up I can be productive by writing something about the past day.

I have been having symptoms of some kind of medical problem and today (yesterday, actually) I ended up in the emergency room at the hospital to get it checked out. I have been having mornings when I get up at 5:00 only to be so extremely tired that I can barely function. I can hardly keep my eyes open, I can't focus my thoughts, I feel disoriented. I can't carry on a normal conversation. My tongue feel as if it is an inch thick and my speech is slurred. I felt as if I had been given some sort of strong sleeping pill and can't snap out of it.

This happened occasionally at first and then with increasing frequency until this last weekend when it occurred Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Finally I called Dr Brown and when it told them the symptoms, they told me to go to the emergency room. I was in no shape to drive so I asked Stacey if she could drive me there and Joe would come and pick me up after they were through with me.

At the hospital they took me right back and ran several tests of my blood, etc. They even did a "Cat scan" but found nothing conclusive. The Doctor came in my room and talked to me about my medicines and suggested that there were two that could give me the symptoms I described. The main one he seem to think was the problem was Ambien, a strong sleeping pill that I have been taking for 12 years.

He suggested I try taking only half the dosage to see if the symptoms continued. When I talked to Janice and Emilee later in the day they said that maybe since I've lost so much weight the dosage is too high. So we cut down to 5 mg tonight and that may be why I can't get to sleep. I am going to try this for 4 days to see what happens. I hope I don't have a major flare up of fibromyalgia as a result as has happened the last two times I tried to go off.

So.... what else is new?

Well, I get to weigh myself on Wednesday. I am really looking forward to that. It's exciting to see how much I've lost each month.

Also, I've arranged to go on the radio on KSRR 1400 AM on the 27th of the month to talk about CEA-HOW and get the message out that we have a program, based on the 12 steps of
Alcoholics Anonymous that is wildly successful in losing weight, doesn't cost any money, and is the healthiest diet you could imagine. Also there is a marvelously strong support system to encourage you on in your efforts to lose weight or to gain it if you happen to be anorexic. It's for people who have any type of eating disorder

I am a little nervous about doing it for fear the symptoms of whatever is going on in my health might happen on the day I am supposed to go on the air. I have decided to ask one of the other people in our group to be ready to stand in for me if needed.

I'd really like to be the one to do it though because there are only three members of our group who have several years doing various 12 step programs and would be able to talk of how it works. I already asked one of them to do it but she is going to be out of town and I haven't yet reached the other one.

Anyway, I have been praying about this and am sure it will work out the best way. It cost me $125.00 and I am hopping to be reimbursed by the group donations, but if not it will still be worth it to me. I am willing to go to any length to do the 12th step which is sharing the message of recovery from compulsive eating to all who may want to try it.

My mission continues to go well. I am learning some of the things on the computer that would help me in dealing with a candidate but am still far from being able to do it by myself. I don't know if I will be able to do it before my mission ends on December 6th.

I am trying to reestablish the habit of getting up at 5:00 in the morning again but am finding it much harder than when I first started a year ago in August. I think once we get my sleep and feeling drugged problems worked out that it might be a little easier. We'll have to see.

Emilee is having her baby induced on Thursday. I am so happy for her. I am hoping to be of some help to her as she works herself into a routine after the baby is born. I don't think I mentioned that Adam and Stacey's baby girl, Savanna Grace was born last month. I have been able to help her out but only a few times so far. She hardly ever asks. Stacey, if you're reading this, I hope you'll feel better about asking and will do it more often. I may have to say no occasionally but don't let that stop you. I'd love to serve you in whatever way I can. Call on me.

Michelle is also expecting a baby in December. All three are having little girls. That is, Michelle's doctor thinks she is having a girl. They weren't certain but that's what they thought they saw when she had the ultra-sound.

Well that's all for now.

Loves to all,

Mither

Since I can't post on my blog I'll post on Jenn's

PLEASE NOTE: THIS WAS PUBLISHED ON JENN'S BLOG, BUT SHE FINALLY HELPED ME LOG OUT, SO IT'S NOW POSTED TO MINE.

Good Times!

We celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary on Tuesday. 42YEARS!!! Yikes!!! I must really be getting OLD!!! We had a great time. We just had a nice easy going morning and then went out to have some fun in the afternoon. We went to See's and each got 6 of our favorite chocolates. I didn't know Joe had decided to go on a sugarless diet just the day before and since it was a Special Day and I allow myself to have chocolates on any Special Day I asked him to let me get my chocolates and he indulged both me and himself. I'm glad he didn't tell me he was off sugar because I wouldn't have tempted him if I had known and I would have missed out on my Special Day chocolates.

Just so you know, the Special Days are any major holiday, my birthday and our anniversary. So let's see, each year that's my birthday, Valentines Day, Mother's Day, our anniversary, Thanksgiving day, Christmas and New Years. It's a loooooooooong wait from Mother's Day to our anniversary but it gives me something really great to look forward to. Here's to lemon and key lime truffles.... yummm even thinking about them tastes good.

So after the chocolates we went to Deseret Book and each bought a small book (read not too expensive.) We spent some time that morning looking over all the movies that were out there and couldn't find any we both wanted to see so we went to Hollywood Video and rented three movies. We went home and started watching one that I had picked out. Turns out it was a grade B+ movie (not so bad as a grade B movie, but really close) It was long and rambling and repeated some scenes over and over and had TWO parts to it. We only got part way through the second part before we gave up on it. Joe said he thought it was a "made for TV" movie because of the repeated scenes. Anyway, it wasn't worth watching.

Then, in the evening, we went to Out Back for dinner with Jan and Jenn and then over to Emilee's for a few minutes until the girl's all went to Zumba (a dancing workout that Emilee teaches in their dance studio above the rental center) We stayed for just a few minutes longer with Daniel while Matthew threw a fit because his mother AND the girls left. He finally settled down a little because Daniel asked him to open the door for Grandpa and Grandma so they could go home and the thought of that distracted him from thinking about the fact that everyone important had gone (sorry Daniel, but there it is.)

A great time was had by all.... that would be both of us :)