Sad, Sad Heart

I had a dream early Tuesday morning that I had gotten a cute little kitten with a gray tabby face and a plain body. I realized when I woke up that I really did want a cat after all these years without a pet. I prevailed upon Joe and his heart was softened and he finally agreed to let me get one.

I went to the Animal Shelter in Lindon that very day (Tuesday) to get a kitten and thought I would have to settle for a gray tabby. That was alright with me. But when I went into the room where they had the cats, the very first cubby hole/pen I looked in, there was the exact kitten I saw in my dream! I could hardly believe it.

(This isn't a picture of my kitten, but is the closest one Jenn could find on the internet)

On the way home from the shelter I stopped by Emilee's house to show Emma (age 4) my new kitty. She was so cute with him. She hardly dared touch him but when she finally got up her nerve she petted him very softly and he immediately rubbed up against her leg. She was thrilled. I told her she could come over to Grandma's house any time she wanted to to see the kitten. She took me up on it and came over the very next day (Wednesday)to see him again.

That night (Tuesday) Steve and Michelle brought Jenni (6)and Joey (3 1/2) up to see the kitten and after being in the room only a few minutes, Steve started sneezing. I had completely forgotten that Steve was allergic to cats. He said it was all right just so long as the cat didn't come in their bedroom at all, which I readily agreed to. Joey had no interest in the kitten but Jenni just loved him and had a good time petting him and holding him.

The next day (Wednesday) David brought Annika (4 1/2)and Mieka (2)over to see the kitten. He was a little nervous about them but he didn't run away. The girls kept trying to snuggle up to him and he would move 3 or 4 inches and sit down and then they would move up to him again. This happened over and over as the three of them made their way around the room. He did let them pet him though and they were very soft with him.

Later that night Jenn and Jan came over to see the kitten and fell in love with him. He was so cute with them, snuggling up to Jan's neck and pushing his nose into her hair. When Jenn saw him she immediately said he was a Blue Tabby Point Burmese kitten. I had never heard of the breed but he had darling markings. I thought he was a cross between a tabby and a Siamese. He had the tabby face and his body looked like a Siamese. His tail was black with gray rings going up about halfway. His legs looked like a tabby with little rings going down the leg to black feet. He had the sweetest temperament. He was soooo affectionate with everyone who held him. He purred every time he was picked up and wanted to nestle up under your chin. And he loved to be petted and petted and petted.

He was "potty trained" (what do you call it for kittens....? I can't remember) and when we left him in the laundry room (where we had his bed) for the night he cried for a couple of minutes and then settled down on a little rug we have in there and went to sleep. During the day he liked to sit under our big dining room table and watch the world go by.

The saddest thing happened yesterday (Friday). All of a sudden in the afternoon he suddenly got really sick. He started throwing up until there was nothing left to throw up and then there were dry heaves. Luckily we were able to get the last appointment of the day at the Vet's.

After checking him over the Vet said he was very sick with one of four possible illnesses which were all fatal. He said it could be distemper, leukemia, a virus he had picked up at the shelter or feline something or other - it had a long name too hard to pronounce. He said there was hardly any hope for the kitten. Maybe a 5% chance that he would live, he said, and as sick as the kitten was, he was sure the kitten wouldn't live.

When I came home from my mission, I knew he was really sick. His whole personality had changed. No cuddling or purring and he didn't even want to lay on my bed with me. As I took him out to the car to go to the Vet, I picked him up so I could put a towel in his carrier and he threw up again. As I was driving him to the Vet there was NO crying out, out of fear of the car ride, as there had been on the way home from the shelter. He was just silent.

When the Vet said if it were his kitten he would put him down I thought my heart would break. I did end up having him put down and then spent the rest of the night crying off and on. I feel a little better today but am still very sad. He was the cutest, sweetest little kitten I have ever had. Jenn is going to try to find another kitten with the same markings for me. I need to get everything disinfected first, but I hope we can find one.

Even so, Grayson (we named him that) was an answer to my prayers. The Lord knew that the kitten was going to die before He even sent that dream. To have the dream fulfilled, by finding the same exact kitten at the shelter as the one in the dream, was the perfect thing to reassure me that I do have gift of dreams. It was something I had been praying about and now have my answer. It was one of those tender mercies that the Lord gives us from time to time.

I'm still not sure what the purpose of having the kitten die was, though. Maybe I didn't pray hard enough for the kitten's life. I don't know. When I went to the Vet I really didn't expect him to say the kitten had to be put down. It was such a shock. After that I didn't think to pray at all. All I thought of was that they were going to put him down and how bad I felt about that. I will try to think to pray in the first place and then pray harder next time (although I'm hoping there won't be a next time.)

Still, I trust in the Lord that His purposes have been fulfilled in this matter.

-- ADDENDUM --

Hey all, this is Chelle. Mom asked me to put some pics on her post, but by the time I got up here to do it, she was gone, so I called her and she said she wanted the following pics on this post.

First off, Jenni drew a picture of the cat, and gave it to mom. Here's Jenni's rendition of Grayson (I was the one who thought of that name, by the way!)

The 'bing' part is the little bell sound the collar made.

Here's the back of the picture Jenni drew. We're still working on spelling!


And finally, here is a pic that Jenn (mom's daughter) found on the net that looks fairly close to what Grayson looked like.

He really was such a sweet kitty! Bye little Grayson! We'll miss you!

ok, I think that's all!