Monday, October 26, 2009

Going beyond the mark

When I took notes from General Conference I decided the one thing I was going to change was my problem of having very little temperance. That shows up in the weight I've gained as an adult, in the money I have spent without being frugal, the extremes I've gone to, and being black or white in my thinking. I'm sure there are other ways I've been extravagant that I can't think of right now. Anyway, I've wanted to learn to be more balanced and more temperate in my thinking and behavior.

So maybe it's just my negative way of looking at things but I've had the experience of realizing I was very intemperate. Last week I was typing up some long passages of scripture that were meaningful to me in a very personal way. I wanted to put them in my journal. So about a third of the way through I had the smallest of impressions that I should stop and get something to eat for lunch. But I thought to myself that I would do just a little bit more and then I would stop. Well, about four hours later I finally finished and realized I hadn't stopped for lunch and I was sick and in pain from pushing too hard to get it done.

I've learned two things. One is that I can be intemperate in so many ways that I would never have thought of. And two, that the still small voice is really still and really small and if I don't pay attention to it I can get myself in a lot of trouble.

I've also had the experience when I'm eating of feeling full and knowing that I had eaten enough but still wanting to eat more. I was not satisfied somehow and the urge to eat more was really strong. I prayed in my mind that I would be able to hold out for a few minutes longer and I knew that the urge would go away. Well, I did and it did, but I had to get away from the table and distract myself.

So I am having some success but it took the pain and sickness from "going beyond the mark" in typing up the scriptures to really get my attention. I am listening to that still small voice a little better now. I do wish I could eat without wanting to keep eating when I am full. It takes a lot of help from the Lord and some action on my part to pass up that extra food. I am going to have to find some way to distract myself that is really attractive to me so the feeling of having deprived myself will not be so strong.

Being temperate is harder than I thought it would be. And I still haven't understood the connection goals have to being temperate. I thought temperance was pretty much the same as "moderation in all things." I'm going to have to do some pondering, meditating and thinking on the subject of goals in relation to temperance.

Well, as they say, onward and upward.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sick, Sick, Sick

I have been so sick this last weekend. I've had a bad cough for the last two weeks which the doctor at the Insta-Care said was just a virus, that I was no longer contagious and that the cough could last until MAY or so. So I've been bearing with it as well as I could and just hoping it would not take that long to get over. Then all of a sudden Friday night I started coughing all through the night, I hardly got any sleep at all and finally went in on the couch so at least Joe could sleep. By Saturday I knew I was really sick. I had chills (shaking so hard I couldn't pour my orange juice without spilling it all over.) muscle aches, head ache, runny nose, a temperature, you know all the classic signs of the flu.

I finally got in to see the doctor this morning, He said I had swine flu or h1n1 as they are calling it now. He said I was contagious for three days before the symptoms showed up and will be contagious for nine days after. So basically he said I should hibernate for the next week.

I am so embarrassed about going to work Friday morning. Sister Jones has been adamant that we keep wiping down the whole office with sanitary wipes so that no one gets sick and here I bring it in without knowing it.

Dr. Brown gave me a strong cough suppressant as a liquid and one in little gold pearls, as well. He said the cough should go away but just because I feel better doesn't mean I'm not contagious. He said this flu isn't spread by contact with something we touch but that it is spread in the little droplets of water we spray into the room when we cough.

So as much as we love having you visit, it would be best that none of you come until next Sunday or Monday.

Thankfully the worst of it seems to be over. I just feel wiped out. I did get a blessing yesterday that said I would get better in a matter of hours. That was last night and this morning I felt much better.

Love to all, Mither

Friday, October 16, 2009

Life is good for me right now....

Finally! A watercolor painting I'm doing that is turning out good. I am really enjoying this watercolor class. It's only going to be an 8 week course but it is giving me a good start in this medium. I am finding the teacher to be excellent. His style is really tight and detailed but every time he comes around to help me he does these wonderful little thumbnail sketches that are loose and flowing.

I am doing a painting of a tree that is in stark contrast to a dark river behind it. It's a very dramatic picture with dark greens and blues except for bright yellow leaves on the right side of the tree due to a setting sun (which is actually out of the picture.)

Like they say, "a picture is worth a thousand words." You'd have to see the picture

I was worried about painting the river and actually making it look like water. I did a smaller painting of this picture so I could work out all the problems on it before I did it on the larger, more expensive paper. On the smaller painting I overworked it so much that the river turned out to be "muddy." Not a pun. It's an actual term in water coloring. I find it hard to do it right the first time which is why I've always thought watercolors to be so difficult.

I had the teacher show me how to do the water on his paper and when I followed his instructions and example it turned out great, much different than the reference but beautiful. Instead of the dark, stark contrast the river is actually a very cool, light color but even more appealing to me. Now the tree is too harsh. I am going to see what the teacher has to suggest.

Anyway, it's a whole new experience for me. I am going to try my hand at this for the next year and see how it goes over time. Learning how to watercolor was one of the things on my 100 goals list. So, also, was spending a year doing something new and challenging. So I'm accomplishing two goals at once.

Getting up at 5:00 is something I am finding surprisingly easy. I don't have to drag myself out of bed every morning. The alarm goes off and I'm up without effort. And the "sleep withdrawals" are about gone now that I'm not getting back up due to the Ambien. The Lord is really blessing me so that I'm able to achieve this goal. I'm amazed at how much I'm enjoying the benefits of early rising. I'm loving the time studying my scriptures and writing in my journal when I 'm fresh. It really is invigorating as it promised it would be in the D&C!

Another great thing is that I've re-lost(?) the five pounds that I gained last month. Also, I'm starting to enjoy my mission and am getting more and more confident on the computer. And, last but not least, Joe has set up a small table in the computer room so that I can have all my books, scriptures and journal out and not have to have them in the way on the dining room table. He has moved his work computer up into the bonus room which makes room available for me downstairs. He has a nice long table up there for his puzzles, and we have put our family room furniture up there so it's a nice cozy place for him to be as well.

Life is good for me right now. Thanks Heavenly Father.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

General Conference: I'll try this again....

Last Sunday morning, early, I wrote a long post about all the wonderful things I heard in Conference on Saturday and then somehow lost it just as I was about to publish it. I thought maybe Michelle could find it for me so I didn't try to write it again. Turns out she couldn't find it so I am going to try it again.

As I look back over my notes, now, I don't remember all the thoughts I had when I wrote them. Still, I will do the best I can but I am really upset that that can actually happen when you are writing on a computer. Dang computers! I have a love/hate relationship with mine.

So the first talk, right off the bat, set the stage for my thoughts as Elder Richard G. Scott spoke about personal revelation. I was impressed with the suggestion that we need to write down the revelations and strong impressions we receive from the Lord. Then we should thank Heavenly Father for the things He is revealing to us and ask if there is anything more He wants us to know or understand. And then we should respond to and apply what we have learned.

Sister Matsumori said we should "provide a quiet time each day to facilitate the prompting of the Spirit." It reminded me of something someone said about President Kimball's advice that we "lengthen our stride." It was said that he didn't write out a long list of things to do. He started meditating each day as a way of lengthening his stride.

I have tried to include meditation as part of my daily routine of prayer and scripture study. Unfortunately I have fallen asleep each time I've tried it. I still find that I have not yet gotten over the "sleep withdrawals" from getting up at 5:00 a.m. If I don't do something that occupies my thoughts like writing in my journal or writing my notes from my scripture study I get very drowsy and practically fall asleep. Several times I actually have gone in the living room and lain down on the couch and slept for a little while longer. That has happened only a few times in the 7 weeks I've been getting up early so I don't feel too bad about it.
This usually happens after I have been up for a couple of hours already so you would think I would be wide awake by that time. Well, not yet, but I am persevering.

Back to Conference talks....

Elder Ted R Callister's talk said that even something as important as the restoration of the gospel was still only given line upon line, precept upon precept as Joseph Smith asked questions in prayer. So, also, will we receive line upon line, precept upon precept as we ask questions of the Lord in prayer. I realized that I don't very often ask questions in my prayers unless it's something important that I'm fasting about and I need to get an answer about.

I thought Elder Kent D Watson's talk on temperance was good. He said that temperance is a gift of the Holy Ghost, that it's more than just moderation, it's being diligent and patient in pursuing goals. I can honestly say that I would never have thought of that.... Temperance and goals going together? He also said that being temperate will give us increased spiritual strength and self control. Great! I could use more self-control

I loved Elder Neil L Anderson's talk on Mercy; that the arms of mercy are extended to us if we repent and come unto Him, that the Lord will receive us; that his arms of love are extended "all the day long." The phrase "I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands" is beautiful. It is my favorite phrase from a hymn on my Ipod from an album called Sacred Classics. The idea that the Lord's love for us actually is shown in the palms of His hands. The best part of his talk was when he said "don't be discouraged if you have been struggling with he same sin over and over. You won't see your progress without patience" He likened it to climbing a mountain through a forest of trees. That you can't see that you're progressing until you get near the top where the trees thin out, then you can look back and see that you really have made progress. The last note I took from him was that repentance always meant greater happiness.

The haunting rendition of "Oh Divine Redeemer" was so movingly beautiful I could hardly stand to hear it end. It was my favorite song of the whole conference.



And the one talk that impressed me most, above any other of the whole conference, was Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's. Given the circumstances of how it was delivered that will cause it to be forever remembered, Elder Holland's POWERFUL TESTIMONY about the Book of Mormon and the truthfulness of the Church was astounding. I loved this part:
In this their greatest—and last—hour of need, I ask you: would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book (and by implication a church and a ministry) they had fictitiously created...tell me whether in this hour of death these two men would enter the presence of their Eternal Judge quoting from and finding solace in a book which, if not the very word of God, would brand them as impostors and charlatans until the end of time? They would not do that!They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and the eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.

I could see Elder Holland was visibly shaken as he spoke. The feelings of the Spirit could not be denied in watching him. What an AMAZING talk!!! It makes me want to go out and say the same thing to the world. I am glad that he spoke it when all the world could watch and hear it and that it will be recorded forever. Angels will definitely quote from it.



I so look forward to General Conference. I promised myself I would only take one idea from each session to work on for the coming six months . I usually try to work on too many things and then get discouraged when I can't keep up with it all. As it turned out, I found so much in just the Saturday sessions that that is where I am taking my four ideas/goals from.

After going through my notes I've decided I will do the following things - write down my impressions from the Lord, meditate, practice temperance, and not be discouraged by working on the same sin over and over. Writing down impressions and not getting discouraged really aren't the kind of goals that take any actual work or effort so that should be easy. And I've decided that I will meditate on practicing temperance. :)

Practicing temperance is the only goal that I will really have to work at. Meditating is going to take some effort as well (but not as much as temperance) because I tend to fall asleep if I try to do it in the morning. I will have to write myself a note to do it in the afternoon. I am afraid I will forget if I don't have the note to remind me.

What a wonderful two days. I am so grateful that I can watch Conference on TV, what a miracle it is. I can hardly believe I am so blessed in my life with such abundance and prosperity. I do fear for our freedom, though. I must trust in the Lord about that. I wonder why we don't hear about that subject in Conference now days when we are so close to losing it. President Benson would have had a field day with what is happening now and that's putting it mildly to say the least.

Well, Conference was great and I am spiritually blessed to hear from a Prophet the things God would have us know.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Simple Pleasures

I went to my watercolor class last Wednesday night. It was much better than the first class because we actually painted from pictures. I never could paint good pictures without some kind of reference.

I chose a painting from one of my Teaching Books, which are books that have pictures that you can paint from to improve your skills, so I'm not plagiarising.

I did a watercolor of three iris's on a dark background of green and purple. I have to wait for the background to dry so I painted on one of the old backgrounds that I painted years ago and never finished. It turned out to be a poor rendition of a beach. But at least I tried. I still haven't painted the iris but I will try to get it done for the next class so I can get tips on how I did. I am learning to use frisket which is like rubber cement because it rubs off when you're done. It makes it so you can preserve the white paper while you paint something dark around it, or by it. Anyway it is neat to use it and see the outcome. It turns out that you use it just like the watercolors themselves. That is, you can water it down and paint with it on the parts of the painting you want to preserve. It's a good idea to paint the things you want to stay white first, so you don't forget what your plan was and paint in the wrong area.

Watercolor is SO much harder than oils. With oils if you don't like how something looks, you can just paint over it but with watercolors, if you try to paint over something you get mud.

I need to get back to my oils, though, because I have two paintings I am currently working on (ok, I know I've had them for years and haven't finished them, but they are the next thing that I'm going to work on so in a way they are "current").

I've been sick this last week so I've missed work and doing genealogy with my brother Joe, but as I said, I did go to my watercolor class. I made it a point not to sit close to anyone and to try not to cough. I was afraid if I didn't go they would cancel the class because the first day they only had two students show up other than me. This last Wednesday they had about five or six who were already there when I got there, so I wouldn't have had to worry. Oh well, I got to have some fun while I was sick. I was sure weak the next day though, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

I find I always seem to do too much when I am sick. It's like I don't really believe I'm that sick but I am sick enough that I can't do my usual routine. There have been times that I've really paid for that kind of thinking. I do need to pay more attention to my what my body is feeling and rest more.

Well, I have to go have breakfast and start my scripture study, so Cheers for now.

Love to you all,

Mither