3:25 a.m. - Can't Sleep, Again

I have spent several hours in the dark, trying to go to sleep to no avail. At least, by getting up I can be productive by writing something about the past day.

I have been having symptoms of some kind of medical problem and today (yesterday, actually) I ended up in the emergency room at the hospital to get it checked out. I have been having mornings when I get up at 5:00 only to be so extremely tired that I can barely function. I can hardly keep my eyes open, I can't focus my thoughts, I feel disoriented. I can't carry on a normal conversation. My tongue feel as if it is an inch thick and my speech is slurred. I felt as if I had been given some sort of strong sleeping pill and can't snap out of it.

This happened occasionally at first and then with increasing frequency until this last weekend when it occurred Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Finally I called Dr Brown and when it told them the symptoms, they told me to go to the emergency room. I was in no shape to drive so I asked Stacey if she could drive me there and Joe would come and pick me up after they were through with me.

At the hospital they took me right back and ran several tests of my blood, etc. They even did a "Cat scan" but found nothing conclusive. The Doctor came in my room and talked to me about my medicines and suggested that there were two that could give me the symptoms I described. The main one he seem to think was the problem was Ambien, a strong sleeping pill that I have been taking for 12 years.

He suggested I try taking only half the dosage to see if the symptoms continued. When I talked to Janice and Emilee later in the day they said that maybe since I've lost so much weight the dosage is too high. So we cut down to 5 mg tonight and that may be why I can't get to sleep. I am going to try this for 4 days to see what happens. I hope I don't have a major flare up of fibromyalgia as a result as has happened the last two times I tried to go off.

So.... what else is new?

Well, I get to weigh myself on Wednesday. I am really looking forward to that. It's exciting to see how much I've lost each month.

Also, I've arranged to go on the radio on KSRR 1400 AM on the 27th of the month to talk about CEA-HOW and get the message out that we have a program, based on the 12 steps of
Alcoholics Anonymous that is wildly successful in losing weight, doesn't cost any money, and is the healthiest diet you could imagine. Also there is a marvelously strong support system to encourage you on in your efforts to lose weight or to gain it if you happen to be anorexic. It's for people who have any type of eating disorder

I am a little nervous about doing it for fear the symptoms of whatever is going on in my health might happen on the day I am supposed to go on the air. I have decided to ask one of the other people in our group to be ready to stand in for me if needed.

I'd really like to be the one to do it though because there are only three members of our group who have several years doing various 12 step programs and would be able to talk of how it works. I already asked one of them to do it but she is going to be out of town and I haven't yet reached the other one.

Anyway, I have been praying about this and am sure it will work out the best way. It cost me $125.00 and I am hopping to be reimbursed by the group donations, but if not it will still be worth it to me. I am willing to go to any length to do the 12th step which is sharing the message of recovery from compulsive eating to all who may want to try it.

My mission continues to go well. I am learning some of the things on the computer that would help me in dealing with a candidate but am still far from being able to do it by myself. I don't know if I will be able to do it before my mission ends on December 6th.

I am trying to reestablish the habit of getting up at 5:00 in the morning again but am finding it much harder than when I first started a year ago in August. I think once we get my sleep and feeling drugged problems worked out that it might be a little easier. We'll have to see.

Emilee is having her baby induced on Thursday. I am so happy for her. I am hoping to be of some help to her as she works herself into a routine after the baby is born. I don't think I mentioned that Adam and Stacey's baby girl, Savanna Grace was born last month. I have been able to help her out but only a few times so far. She hardly ever asks. Stacey, if you're reading this, I hope you'll feel better about asking and will do it more often. I may have to say no occasionally but don't let that stop you. I'd love to serve you in whatever way I can. Call on me.

Michelle is also expecting a baby in December. All three are having little girls. That is, Michelle's doctor thinks she is having a girl. They weren't certain but that's what they thought they saw when she had the ultra-sound.

Well that's all for now.

Loves to all,

Mither

Gingerbread houses and grandkids

Janice organized a gingerbread house making party for all the Grand kids. It turned out to be unorganized madness :) Well, at least she learned how she will do it next Christmas. And the kids were hyper with the joy of the season and seeing all their cousins and all the candy, Candy, CANDY.

Chloe got overwrought with all the kids wanting to hold her. Stacey brought the kids early because Adam had to go to school so Joshie, Brianna, Brady and even Camden got to play with her for some time before everyone else came. I ended up putting her in my bedroom and shutting the door and just letting a few kids at a time come in to see her. Still it was too much for her, so finally I let her just have the rest of the night alone. All the kids did get to see her if only for a few minutes.

I still can't believe Stacey's pregnant! I am torn between being concerned for her and being overjoyed at having another Grand baby. She said she was glad that if she is having another (unexpected) baby she is having it now and not ten years from now. They will be moving into our apartment the first week of January. It will really be cramped for them and Steve and Michelle and for us too, for that matter. I hope Adam can find a job, soon.

I went to bed in a lot of pain both Sunday and Monday nights but was able to recuperate on Tuesday. Tonight I feel a lot better though still not out of the woods. I spent the afternoon resting and dozing while the Glenn Beck show and the nightly news on the Fox channel played in the background. It amazes me that I can sleep through all that but I do.

Steve and Michelle came up and visited for a little while last night. I sure like having them here. We have a lot of fun together. They made Egg McMuffins for dinner and we made powdered milk (which is a really good milk - it doesn't have the powdered milk taste so much.) Jenni couldn't tell it wasn't whole milk. We didn't tell her, either. The chocolate powdered milk was really good. We mixed it up in my new Kitchenaid mixer which worked really well. Next time I think we need to mix the white milk with a little more water and that will take away the powdered taste completely. It was especially nice to have them come because Michelle did all my dishes and theirs too.

I think I'll spend the day tomorrow wrapping Christmas presents. I do need to get a painting done for Janice's friend before the end of the month, too though, so we can pack up all my art supplies for the kids to move in. (Steve and Michelle will be using the two small bedrooms and the family room downstairs to live in until they can get on their feet. They will share the kitchen and laundry room with us.)

I won't be going to Joe's (my brother) house tomorrow to do genealogy because we are all (Larry, Venice, Joe, Eileen, Joe and I) going to do Initiatories on the 15th. It will be special to do our own ancestor's work. These are names David Griffith gave us. It will take a long time to get all the endowments done for all the names we've got but it will be a joy to do it for them. I need to establish a regular day to do Temple work so I can get into a routine. I had planned to do it on Tuesday's but I find I'm needing that day to stay home and rest. I'm not sure yet how I'm going to work this out.

I hadn't intended to write so much tonight but I think I'll look back on the things I've written and be glad I did.

Cheers!

p.s. So Michelle, I didn't lose it this time. I think this computer may be warming up to me :)