On The Mend

I got home from the hospital today and am amazed at how well I'm doing. This recovery is light-years ahead of what I experienced with my other hip surgery. I am able to get around by myself on my walker or a cane and it's only been a week since the surgery. I am still on pain medication and need help with meals but Joe has arranged to work from home for the remainder of this week and next week I will have help from the ward with meals. Other than that it's only a matter of time-waiting to heal completely-until I am back to normal. I will probably be back to my mission by the first week in April or so.

I have been reading an excellent book on mentoring and working on my goals and affirmations for the last few days while I was in the hospital. I will be developing my website for my art class over the next two weeks and continuing organizing HOPE which will keep me busy while I recuperate.

Now I need to write on my art blog and then go back to bed as sitting up too long wears me out and causes the pain to get worse.

Cheers!

I'm Back

I know, I know it's been a long, long time since I wrote but I've started a new blog called "Corilee Southern Art" that I wanted t tell everyone about. I will be wrting more there than here probably but I will start writing here occasionally as well.

I finished my CEA-HOE diet, at least the weight loss part and am now on the maintenance diet and have kept my 150 lb. weight loss for the last 9 months fluctuating only a few pounds higher or lower than my goal weight. It is a whohle new life. I love feeling like I look good and am no longer self-conscious about how I look. I have so much more energy and stamina and sleep a lot less and am happier than ever before.

I have started a new 12 Step program called Eating Disorders Anonymous HOPE (Honest, Obedient, Prayerful and Exceedingly grateful) for members of the Church which focuses on the Atonement, the Holy Spirit, the Word of Wisdom and the Scriptures as the major means to achieveing ongoing recovery from our obsessive/compulsive behaviours rergarding food.. It will include anorexics, bulimics and those who can't keep there weight at a healthy level (or compulsive eaters as we call ourselves). We have two meetings a week with about 12-15 women attending and all are achieving success in their efforts. We had our first anorexic come on Wednesday which was exciting. She has volunteered to be the secretary for our business meetings which will be nice so that I don't have to do that part of it. She is also going to write some pamphlet for us to help those whose addiction is centered around unhealthy eating patterns more than around eating too much.

I am so excited aboout my new projects. One other project I am working on is a blessing dress I am making for Janice for when she marries and has her first hoped for daughter. It is almost done. But I've put that on hold as I am making a bedskirt and pillows for my bed so my bedroom will look nice for when I have visitors while I am recovering from hip surgery which I am have this coming Tuesday.

Well that's all for now,

Cheers!

Celebrate Good Times

I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since I posted. Most of that time I was recovering from surgery and couldn't sit so it would have been hard to write on the computer. But I think that since my last post was soooooooooo long that nobody read it, it's just as well. I have been writing in my CEA-HOW journal which has been an interesting experience for me.

I just wanted to write about how bummed I was last month when I only lost 1 pound. That was really disappointing but this month I lost 18 pounds!!! for a total of 122 pounds for the year and one month I have been doing CEA-HOW.

Life is really great when you lose weight, isn't it!

Cheers,
Corilee

(I couldn't get the computer to stop writing in italics so, alas, here it is as it is :) )

It's one week before Christmas and I am all ready for it except for doing my Christmas cards. We didn't spend as much this year as we have in years past. That may be a good thing, I just hope the family - the Grandchildren especially - aren't disappointed. We bought them children's versions of the scriptures. Actually they are just stories from the scriptures but I wanted to get them something that would remind them of the gifts we have been given from the Lord and that Christmas is really about Christ and not Santa Clause. They are only getting one gift from us.



OH! I just remembered! I have a couple of little gifts for them that I bought last summer and they aren't wrapped! Looks like I'm going to have to spend a couple of hours wrapping this next week after all.



Joe asked me if he should spoil my Christmas for me. I immediately said NO. Then he asked if he should he tell me how his Christmas isn't going to be a surprise for him. Having bought two small gifts for him this last week I was suspicious of him saying that and asked him what he knew. He admitted that he saw what I gotten him on the bank records he looks at every day. I bought him a Dowdle puzzle with my debit card not realizing it would show up there. I didn't think of that when I bought it. He also knew I got something from FYE (For Your Entertainment) He doesn't know what, yet, but it isn't going to be much of a surprise.



Foiled again! One of these years he is going to be surprised and not know what he is getting.

Maybe I should get him a lump of coal. I don't even know where I would get one for him, but I could try.... :)



I forgot to write about our Thanksgiving Day last month. It was as special as ever. I used my china, goblets, had candles on the tables with nice tablecloths and used my pretty milkglass serving dishes. It is the only time I go all out like that (somewhat to the girl's dismay - they don't like cleaning up all that finery- but hey! it's only once a year. It will be memorable to them in future years, I hope in a good way.) I borrowed Daniel's chaffing pan to keep the potatoes warm while we sliced the turkey. I also had two tables and several folding chairs from his rental center. It made it so we could seat everyone. We put the tables up in the living room which made it crowded but fun.



I "brined" the turkey this year. I have never heard of doing that before. I happened to see a box of brining solution at the store the week before Thanksgiving and looked it up on the net. I decided to do it myself and found several recipes that sounded good. The one I chose basically had salt and spices and turned out to be delicious. I've never had such juicy turkey. I am going to do that from now on.



Janice and Emilee had the idea of putting up the Christmas tree that night instead of trying to do my tree (I don't have the stamina to do it all myself, anymore, so they have taken on the job and helped me out) and theirs the next day as we've done in the past.



Several of the grandchildren "helped" us. I have gone to all plastic bulbs for the very reason of letting the kids touch them without worrying about it. I do have about 5 or 6 glass bulbs that I hang up high so it isn't a problem. I also have the handmade ornaments June (Joe's mother) made for us about 25 years ago but I was very careful about letting them hang those. I also have some glass and Chrystal "ice cycles" that the kids hung but they got the idea about how special they were and were very, very careful with them.



It was cute and fun to see them so excited to be helping. It only took us about two hours and the tree was done and all the storage boxes packed away until January.



I have been missing Chloe since I gave her away this last week. I decided it was too much of a problem to have Steve and Janelle visit and have to leave early with bloodshot eyes and serious congestion because they were allergic to her. It seemed to get worse every time they came. The last time they came they each had rubbed their eyes and had to leave early because it was so bad.



Jennifer and Michelle each helped me put an add on line (we did two different adds) and I ended up giving her to a woman who considered her animals her "children." She was only able to have one child who is now 14 years old and she was very loving to Chloe the minute she saw her. I felt considerable relief at finding someone so good to give her to.



We had good news last week! Michelle gave birth to our newest grandchild, Mikayla Mickelle.

She only weighed a little over 5 lbs. so she is very small but darling. Michelle is happy that she has hair (more than Jenni had at 18 months old). She had to stay in the NICU for several days because she inhaled some merconium when she was born. We were a little worried about her for a few days but she ended up getting over the infection she had (from Michelle's being a little sick the week before) and her breathing problems and was able to come home this week.

Well, as usual, this post is long. I guess I should keep a journal apart from my blog but since I don't know how to set it up, it'll have to wait until someone can help me.

That's all for now,

Loves, Mither

I didn't realize it had been so long between posts.... sorry.

I got to weigh myself yesterday and I have lost a total of 102 lbs, if you count the 11 pounds I lost in OA. I also broke the 200 lb. mark I weigh 196 lbs. I still want to lose about 40-45 lbs.I am so happy that the Lord is doing the discipline for me and I am glad that I finally was ready to go to any length to lose weight. The CEA-HOW program is a marvelous diet. I am full all the time and it such a healthy way to eat.

Enough of diets, I'm on to other things.

We have celebrated Joshua, Kate, Ethan and Logan's birthdays by taking them, alone, to lunch at IHOP right around the time of their baptism. We also celebrated Brendon's Baptism by taking him out to eat, but he didn't want to go alone with us so we went with their whole family. We gave each of the kids a copy of the book How Does The Holy Ghost Make Me Feel? It is an excellent way to explain the how we receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and how to use it in our lives. It just occurred to me that we never did take Holly out. We'll have to make it a point to do that.

We are in the process of getting our food storage all gathered in. I went to the Church's web page and entered "food storage calculator" and am in the process of using it to complete the necessary items to live through the hard times ahead.

(continued December 5, 2010)

I didn't realize it had been so long since I wrote this post. I don't remember whose scales I used last time I wrote but as of November 15th I have lost 100 lbs. (111 if you count the OA program I was on for 12 years.) Maybe it was at the doctor that I only weighed 192 lbs. I know that must sound terrible to weigh that much to some but when you consider that I started at 303 lbs. it's great! At least I think so.

I am serving my last week at the LDS Employment Resource center in American Fork starting tomorrow. I have put my papers in to serve as a hostess at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building next. I just talked to the Stake President Thursday night about it and he asked when I would be available to start. I told him that when I filled out the papers I put down December 10th but found out that it was possible that I would have to have surgery on the 15th. So he put off sending in the papers until I knew for sure. I found out Friday at the doctors that I definitely would be having the surgery (for both bowel and bladder incontinence - results of having so many babies) on the 15th so he is making that change on my papers and putting my available date as February 1st.

I just had a blessing tonight for a problem I am having with my meds. Some days when I wake up I feel as if the meds haven't worn off. I am sleepy and have a hard time writing up my menu to give to my sponsor. Sometimes I even have a hard time speaking to her or to my sponsees on my early morning calls. I have had to call my mission leaders to tell them I couldn't drive several times and twice had to turn around and drive home when I found I could hardly stay awake to drive myself to work (my mission.)

I went to Dr. Brown about this and he suggested I try cutting down on the medication I take for fibromyalgia, which I did, but to no avail. I have been wondering if it's some weird fluke of the Ambien I'm taking. That would seem strange since I've been on it for 12 years or so and have never had this happen before. And to further complicate the matter, it doesn't happen every day. It's happened 8 or 10 times now, though, and is becoming a real problem. Twice I've had to come home from Church because I couldn't stay awake in Sacrament meeting. It happened again, for the third Sunday, today so Joe suggested I get a blessing.

He gave me a wonderful blessing that included counsel about finding peace and comfort for my fears about the future as well as being assured that we would be able to find out what was causing the problem with my meds.

Blessings are always a wonderful thing. Joe also gave Daniel and Emilee blessings today. He was supposed to bless Daniel that his arm would get better but ended up giving him a blessing having to do with his business and personal life. After the blessing Emilee said "well, I guess Daniel didn't need his arm blessed after all." Joe had completely forgotten that that was what the blessing was for. I suggested that they just give him another blessing. David and his little girls were there. We had originally asked him to come to assist in giving my blessing but when Daniel called and asked for a blessing we called David to tell him he didn't need to come and found out that he was just pulling up to the house right then. So he came in to visit and to assist in the blessings after all. David is the one who blessed Daniel the second time.

A side note here is that Annika, Mieka, Emma and Matthew were playing in the "toy room" and found they could "talk" to Joshie through the heater vent. They thought that was extra fun. They ended up going down there to play for a little while and then they all came up stairs for a little while. It's amazing how much fun those little kids have when they all get together.... and such energy, too! I wears me out just to watch them.

I got my hair cut short yesterday. It took me more than a year to grow it out so it was something I thought long about. I thought it looked cute yesterday but today I'm not so sure I like it. Too late now, though. I guess I could try growing it out again but I'd have to go through that awful stage when it isn't long enough to do anything with and too long to look cute otherwise. Oh well....

Anyway, that's all for now.

Mither

p. s. I forgot to write about Thanksgiving Day! I'll write about it in my next post.

Very Short Post

So, I just had to write that I lost 10 more pounds this month. It is very likely that I will have lost 100 lbs by the end of the year! I can't believe this miracle is happening to me! Yay for me!

{{{hugs}}}

Mither

Short or Long?

I am tired this morning so this will be short.

I just want to tell everyone who has posted lately that I have tried to comment on all your blogs but my computer is not letting my comments go through. It keeps saying that there are "visual images" that I have to write but doesn't show the letters it wants me to reproduce. It's frustrating but at least I have gained some confidence on the computer compared to what it was like when I first started blogging.

I finally had a "slip" in my CEA-HOW program which means I didn't stay abstinent one day. The good news is that I was able to get right back on the program and didn't go on a binge or give up completely. The fact that I call my sponsor every day and go over my food with her helped me keep it in perspective.

I have been feeling very squirrely for the last week and a half as I was going over my character defects one at a time and writing about them. I noticed after doing this for 5 or 6 days that I was beginning to have very negative thoughts about myself, something I haven't struggled with for several years now. I finally saw the connection between doing my forth step (inventory of my character defects) and the negative thoughts. I talked it over with Joe and my sponsor (Carletta is her name) and decided it wasn't good for me to go about the inventory the way I was doing it, so I quit. I'm still having the negative thoughts. My sponsor said today that it was a form of pride - right - low end pride. I forgot about that. It has helped to be reminded. Anyway that's what lead to the slip.

We have gotten in to a discussion about how beating up on myself is a counterproductive way of dealing with guilt. There is a whole lot more to this discussion that I am writing about in my 12 Step journal so I won't repeat it all here. Suffice it to say that I still have a lot to learn about how guilt relates to humility and accepting myself as human/mortal and loving myself anyway.

This is shorter than my previous posts but is still longer than I had planned to write. More later.

As Ever,

Mither